War Bonnet

Years ago when I was nineteen I was introduced to my wedding gift, a mare called War Bonnet. Actually to tell you the truth I was told that if I married my ex-husband that War Bonnet would be mine. Looking back I can see that without the enticement of War Bonnet I probably would have declined the proposal. It’s not that I am so shallow, it was just that War Bonnet and I connected and she was a one in a million horse.
Saying that she and I were green as grass is an understatement. But on the other hand she was an appaloosa/quarter horse with the heart of an old soul.

We learned how to work cattle together. Both of us nervous as heck every morning when we would ride out but relaxing as the day ended because we held our own. What was so unusual about her was that I used a hackamore on her and not a bit. She learned to rein with my signals and grumblings and a few swear words here and there. Her ears would go back when she would get mad at me and I would crack up laughing. It was just our way of communicating with each other.

One of my fondest memories of War Bonnet was one of the first round ups either one of us had been on. We worked on a ranch that was thousands of acres with experienced cowboys that looked like they had just stepped out of a John Wayne movie.
On one particular morning we all woke up way before dawn to get a good head start on the day. I thought I was going to die because nobody in their right minds get up at 4:00 in the morning! But a good breakfast prepared us for the ride in the cold morning air. We gathered around with horses breathing hard and anticipation in the air. Breaking away from the group we than made our way to the designated locations to round up the Mexican steers scattered all about the ranch.
There’s nothing like watching the earth wake up and to see the sun cast his first rays of light on the mountains. As if on queue, the birds started to sing letting everyone know it was time to wake up. Yes, now I know why I woke up so early.
As the morning wore on we gathered up cattle everywhere we went with only a mountain in the distance as a landmark. I was enjoying myself when it finally happened……I had to work a section of the ranch by myself and any cattle I found I had to head them toward the mountain in the distance. My heart was pounding and War Bonnet started to get anxious. She knew we were on our own. Little did I know that it was decided earlier to let me go out on my own to see if I could handle myself like the guys. So off War Bonnet and I went into the unknown ready to do our part and to successfully fulfill our task. Actually we were both scared !@#$#!less.
One hour passes and than two hours pass and I haven’t seen hide nor hair of any cattle. Smiling to myself I thought, “Well this was easy”. War Bonnet was pretty proud of herself too. We were just about to boast to ourselves when all of a sudden we came across a large group of cattle at a watering hole.
“Damn!”
Ok we can handle this. Now for those of you who don’t know cowboy etiquette, there is a certain call each cowboy has when he finds cattle and gets them up and moving along. Each call or sound is unique and says a lot about the cowboy.
Hum…….what was mine? Hell if I knew but I knew I had to come up with something quick. As I was sitting there thinking, War Bonnet was telling me with her gestures that she didn’t care what I came up with just to get something out so we can get on our way!
“Ok……I think I can do this…..oh damn”!
Little did I know that I had been followed by a group of the cowboys and they were hiding on a ridge watching me figure out what I was going to say. The cattle didn’t budge and looked at me with disdain in their eyes.
Alright here I go………
To this day I don’t know why this particular word came to my mind, maybe it’s a girl thing. But I gathered all my confidence and strength and yelled out “Shoo!!!”
You would have thought that lightning struck the very ground where War Bonnet and I were standing on. The cattle took off at a thunderous roar and I was so pleased with myself. That was until I could hear laughter from the ridge behind me. The group of cowboys watching me came over to where we stood laughing hysterically with tears in their eyes saying that was the funniest thing they had ever seen.
War Bonnet’s ears went back and I think mine did too. Her tail went up in the air and if I would have had one, mine would of too. With a flick of her tail we trotted off ignoring the laughter and feeling relieved that we had at least done our part. I was left wondering why the Hell of all the words I could have used why I used that word!

Belly Dance and the Feminine Image

History shows us through paintings that the veil came to symbolize the untouchable and tantalizing appeal of women in the Middle East. To show just a little part of the body was alluring enough to cause men to pine for women’s affection. If we look at 19th Century paintings of various scenes of women dancing, the look of the belly dancer is quite refined. The distinctive folds in the belt or the accessories from the ankle all the way to the headpiece tell the individual story of each dancer. This is how dancers from the past to the present set themselves apart from their contemporaries.
I can remember seeing “Cleopatra” starring Elizabeth Taylor for the first time and thinking how beautiful the costumes were and how much fun they would be to dance in. “Samson and Delilah” with Hedy Lamarr is my all time favorite biblical movie and her costumes inspire me even to this day. Claudette Colberts costume in the 1934 “Cleopatra” looks like a costume of today. Hollywood had very unusual ideas about what the women from the Middle East wore. But if we look back through time the belly dance costume really hasn’t changed all that much. This really surprised me because as I was doing my research it became apparent to me that when you have a good design it’s hard to improve on it.

Recently I danced with a wonderful group of performers who were Asian dancers. Their costumes were amazing and I have to admit that I felt a little out of place in my cabaret costume. Their movements were very subtle and their gestures very soft and poetic. Which made me wonder what kind of poetry would belly dancing be? When it was time for me to perform I realized that our music really says a lot about our image. My costume was like magic because it made me feel free enough to dance and tell our story within my movements and gestures. In some ways I felt an obligation to relate to the audience that what I do as a dancer and performer is serious and respected. But I have to question why I even felt the need to defend my costume and dance form. The dancers with their movements almost seemed to speak to me teasingly asking me why I wasn’t covered more. Maybe I was just hearing my own voice questioning this. After I finished my dance the response I received overwhelmed me. It became apparent to me that because of the difference of my costume and dance the audience was able to appreciate the culture that I represented. Costuming really does make the difference for people. It’s almost as if the audience can see the story within our movements all the while watching our costumes accenting each word danced through our bodies.

Years ago when I was in Cairo I was able to see Zuhair Zaki dance live and as I look back I realize how lucky I was to have seen such a legend perform. Zuhair Zaki is the total sum of what the belly dance image is for me. Every movement told a story and helped me “hear” the music. I was taught a very good lesson that night because I saw what a masterful dancer can do with music. I also saw Zuhair Zaki become the essence of belly dance as she performed. It wouldn’t have mattered what she wore or where she was. The spirit of the dance was in her and you could see it and feel it. These are those spiritual moments that change you forever!
A few weeks later I saw Dina perform and was totally surprised at the sexual innuendos that emanated from her dance. The image of belly dance changed that night for me because I had assumed that provocative gestures were not allowed. Actually let me take it a step further, I didn’t think it was necessary. But somehow Dina made it work for her and as I watched her performance I saw that she did a wonderful job. Her sexuality never got in the way of her performance. It enhanced her movements and I understood at that moment that Dina chose to dance free of any inhibitions or restraints her world put on her.

As a modern woman I often wonder how close my image is to women back hundreds of years. Our evolution as women has never been more evident than in the belly dance world. If we look at the dance of the seven veils the removal of the veils represent seven earthly illusions that fall away with each veil. In order for us to become the total feminine archetype in myth these veils must fall from us so we can transcend into the Goddess. As with all myths I wondered what these seven veils of illusion were because I had a suspicion that we may still be portrayed within this myth today. It became apparent to me that each illusion had an opposite side to it. So here’s my version of the seven illusions.
1. The Virgin-Temptress
Many dancers have both abilities to enchant their audiences by offering the untouchable innocence of movement combined with eye contact that teases with a fleeting look.
2. Intrigue-deception
The ability to captivate our audience is a major part of our story telling but with all stories we must tell the audience that what intrigues them is only an illusion. This in itself can be perceived as a deception because we work so hard on the illusion that at moments it may become real.

3. Mother-Sex Goddess
Both of these describe the dilemma all women come across through out their careers. While we dance as women who understand what it means to carry and give life we are also expected to be proficient in the art of love. The illusion for most people is that we can be both but they want the two separate.
4. Wise woman-Childlike Innocence
The knowledge a dancer puts in her performing sets her apart from the average dancer. Knowledge is power and our movements speak volumes in regards to our history. The illusion here is that while we dance with experience our audiences to a certain degree want a virtuous dancer that will give them an unsullied look at our dance.
5. Wife-Mistress
In our dance we are compelled to perform from places of the heart. At least some of our music has this impassioned theme in certain songs. As women we feel the need to complete ourselves which is why we search for our mate. The mistress on the other hand is compelled to search outside of this completion which in itself is the wife’s mirror opposite. We distance ourselves from the mistress personification yet in the eyes of our admirers the hope is that they get a glimpse of her.
6. Muse-transmutation
Poetry and music speak of the dancer that takes her audience to places of sublime heights. As dancers we are the muses of our times. At the same time we experience the audience that doesn’t understand our dance and they try to alter it to fit their perception of the world. We than become a misunderstood version of our own poetry.
7. Diva-modest maid
A dancers self confidence has to come across to the audience or they will be sorely disappointed. Many fans expect a confident woman during and after shows. Yet I have found that dancers can almost believe too much in their personas that they create. We can get caught up in this illusion just as much as anybody. The catch here is to know when to turn your dance persona on and off.

As belly dancers we inspire so much in people and our allure isn’t just the pretty costume, it is what we signify as women.
My question is do we understand what it is that we represent for so many? I have worked with a few women who were disassociated from their body image. They had no clue how beautiful they were because they bought into mixed messages from the media and cultural attitudes. How comfortable are we in the position of the archetype for today’s women? If we can’t get past the door of self appreciation, than I don’t see us in the forefront of today’s feminine society. Let us not forget how immeasurable we are as women. Our dance helps us create our own personal myth in which we than can escape into our own feminine image.

I have often wondered that after creating our feminine image, do we than transform gradually into her? Isn’t this really what belly dance does? We heal and than become the women we are intended to be. This is how I believe the essence of belly dance lives and thrives through each generation of women. If we can understand our own image than we can be living examples of what belly dance is and the veils of illusion than become nothing more than invisible restraints that disappear through our own transformation. In this sense we than are reborn into women, who are comfortable in their own body, mind and spirit. And there is no better way to express our dance than by embracing who we are and dancing with veils of our choice.