Cures, disorders and syndromes!!

Just yesterday I was talking to a friend of mine regarding the solo student dancer syndrome of "who are you, I don't know you". This is a very old disorder that I have been dealing with for many years. Only thing is I didn't realize how contagious it was until just recently. I'm no Einstein but it finally sunk in that there is something going on here. I had always looked at students as women of great possibilities and potential. And for a while I had a naive idea that my students would carry on my grand illusions of what I thought belly dance was. OK......so I'm a few quarts low in that regard but I am finally cured!
My point is that I have had students come to class who come right in with problems and issues never stopping to think to leave anything at the door. Do I do this..........yes of course but than it's my class and I can do whatever I want......not really. I learned through the years that what students want is a teacher and that is all! How simple and yet how complicated all at the same time. If I become more of a friend than my teacher status starts to suffer. If I am just the teacher and that is all than I am not very compassionate. So where does this fine line exist of friend and teacher? Just so you know it's in another dimension parallel to ours. No...really.
How do students get the "who are you, I don't know you" syndrome? This has perplexed me for years but I have come up with a hypothesis.
It has to do with what their real motives are when they decide to become a belly dancer. These motives are nurtured by society, parents, relationships, and learned behavior from all three. If any of the three are negative (which hello is very likely) than the beginning stages of this syndrome start to form. This disorder can take on a variety of symptoms. One of the most familiar of these symptoms is what I call the "outside of their world" non communication variety. Maybe it's because friends are a dime a dozen or that their upbringing taught them to drop you like a hot potato. We often as a society of women will have more patience and compassion for a loved one that beats us or a relationship that is unhealthy than we will for a dance teacher. God forbid that the teacher was not only there for her student but was a sounding board for everyday problems. Realistically as a teacher you have to be a sounding board no matter how professional you want to keep your relationship with your students. But this backfires more frequently than you realize.
The other symptom is the "invisible" kind. Now I know I do this too. As a matter of fact I have had a few students that if I would of known back than what I know now, they never would have been allowed to take class from me. But for this to take place a lot of disrespect and drama has to happen. Than yes these people are not only invisible but non existent in my world. Somehow I seem to have had this same effect on a particular group of students. It's OK but the difference here is that I gave knowledge along with whatever drama they felt they went through. I only got drama.........and a few pains in the you know where. But this is from my side of the fence and from where I see life. But I want you all to know that as a teacher I always look at my students as dancers. They all deserved this respect because anyone that takes from me is giving me a gift which is their time and efforts. But what do the students think of this? Is the efforts of my class worth it? Do they speak well of me or not at all? When they go out and perform do they appreciate our class time together? Oh, yes I wonder all these things because I remember what it was like my very first belly dance class. I haven't forgotten that feeling of pure amazement and I haven't forgotten my first teacher. And yes if she was still alive today I would let her know I haven't forgotten her.
Appreciate who you can and let the others alone. If you can't speak well of your teacher than take a look at why. Is it so much what she didn't do or was it what she should of done but didn't do it to your liking? How hard we are on our teachers is only setting us up to be regarded in the same way down the line. Because always remember that to be disappointed in people is easy, not setting people up to disappoint us is the hard part. The dancers who are under the symptom of "Who are you, I don't know you" have choices. Maybe if you are under this symptom you might stop and think about what you are setting yourself up for. There will always be people we don't get along with but why create a dance world where this syndrome exists? It's easier to get along than not but than water seeks it's own level so maybe the cure is seeing yourself equal with everybody else. It's a lot easier to learn from someone who not only sees you as a talented dancer but treats you like one. This means we have to take responsibility for our own drama and not throw issues onto other peoples shoulders to carry.
My shoulders are only full of my problems and even if they feel like they are carrying a load, it's my load. This is my cure and my way of taking care of my responsibilities. I can than say I see you and you are beautiful...........even the pains in the you know where!!